Sonja Abrahamsson

Sonja Abrahamsson

was @sweden 2012-06-11 to 2012-06-17

My name is Sonja and I'm a 27-year old womanlike human being from northern Sweden. I grew up in a little itsy bitsy village called Latikberg, witch means cloudberry montain in native swedish (samiska?). All people there are relatives and they all own tractors. In the autumn we had to pick up potatoes, in the winter we shoveled snow, in the spring we were confused and the summer forced us into growing thick skin and made us the bad motherf*ckers we are. Because of the big swarms of mosqitos that will drain you on blood until death unless you can take it.

When I was 19 years old I took my stuff (including my boyfriend) and moved to Gothenburg. Then I got pregnant two times in a row. Now I'm a single and low educated mother, but at least I don't do drugs and prostitution. Instead I have a blog and I write things, and I also talk on national radio from time to time. I dont know what I want to do in the furure. Thinking about the future is not my speciality, apparently. But I'm excited to know if we all die the 21st of December.

I'm happy to leave my ordinary Twitter account @hejsonja (witch means hellosonja) to tweet for @sweden. I'm gonna tweet about my thoughts and being me, about having children and living my life and what not.

Sonja Abrahamsson's Feed

@sweden June 17, 2012, 8:59 p.m.

I made a video for you, where I talk a little about this week. LOVE // @hejsonja

@sweden June 17, 2012, 8:50 p.m.

Let me introduce the next person tweeting for @sweden: @Ellociraptor. Bet she will be awesome, she's got a dinosauric name!

@sweden June 17, 2012, 7:37 p.m.

Even Marie Curie had vaginal fungus. That was what the radium originally was for. It worked. But it killed her.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 7:34 p.m.

Vaginal fungus is nothing to be ashamed of. Its common throughout history. Poccahontas had it. Poccahontas cured it with corn.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 7:14 p.m.

The first time I had vaginal fungus I suspected I had syphilis and were doomed to die as deaf and confused as Beethoven.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 6:39 p.m.

I think I found a pretty good word for my children. Monglorious.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 6:39 p.m.

@bkrkuntz i can post a video if you like

@sweden June 17, 2012, 6:09 p.m.

@mippy that is a interesting question, i wish i were!

@sweden June 17, 2012, 5:59 p.m.

This is Swedens national dance, Here preformed in an office, Whats yours?

@sweden June 17, 2012, 4:59 p.m.

Soon I will go back to my ordinary twitter account @hejsonja. Its right on time, but I will miss you.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 3:40 p.m.

Opened up a book my kids got as a present a while ago. It seems like an exciting book.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 3:27 p.m.

As a teenager I could spend so much time with the HAIR. Now my hair is like some kind of blanket I only care to wash if it stinks.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 12:20 p.m.

I love that movie-thing when they make a torch out of a stick and a teared off sleeve and it like.. burns for five weeks.

@sweden June 17, 2012, 11:16 a.m.

My daughter wanted to load the pictures to the computer, so she put the camera into the scanner. Total grandma style

@sweden June 17, 2012, 12:56 a.m.

@beining no I mean why go to the city, when its the nature that is the awesomest thing to see . Cities you can find everywhere!

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:54 p.m.

Go go go… go shawty, its yo birthday, we gonna party like its yo birthday we gonna go to China like its your birthday

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:50 p.m.

My son asked when we are going to China. I said dunno, maybe never. He said we better go to China, cause tomorrow its my birthday.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:40 p.m.

@mustashable @mike_ftw @mashable Maybe that could be fun but that depends on your boss I guess!

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:20 p.m.

I heard firecrackers and a whistle, in 30 sec it was like le wildest carnival going on outside. Almost feel like testing for hepatitis now

@sweden June 16, 2012, 8:01 p.m.

My chocolate was soaking wet. Asked my son if he had to drool all over it. His like that's not my saliva mom, its swet.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 7:13 p.m.

At my school we used to ski after the snowmobile for miles and miles. I was like 20 yo when I realized not all kids did that.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 6:46 p.m.

@Mike_FTW it doesn't work. you have to give me your address

@sweden June 16, 2012, 6:34 p.m.

@Mike_FTW just do it if you dare

@sweden June 16, 2012, 6:33 p.m.

@VAis4lovers that is not me, that is my sister . and i thought it sounded like she was making serious love to the sheets hanging there.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 6:29 p.m.

@Mike_FTW what is the address? What technique are you going to use? I happens to be a big fan of "news".

@sweden June 16, 2012, 6:14 p.m.

@mat why do you want to go to cities? If you are going to visit cities, its better to visit some other country. Try Tylösand!

@sweden June 16, 2012, 5:36 p.m.

@KimbaMcG @jinnee79 @newzealand new zealand, it seems like you offended people when you said folks who had VHS is older than the bible.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 5:28 p.m.

One of the biggest pleasures during potato-picking-season was to throw rotten potatoes in the faces of your loved ones.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 5:06 p.m.

I was very into the dramatic for a while. Here is a severe cardiac arrest. Had to do a lot of editing to make it work

@sweden June 16, 2012, 4:54 p.m.

Me & my sisters masterpiece. The lines: Oh no! They said it was unsinkable! But I have to continue my job. Its my duty.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 4:20 p.m.

@RodneyAnon is that true!? Last I read about Philadelphia in the paper they said "old people doesn't smell bad". Im like OK.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 4:14 p.m.

When I moved to the city I realized people got a quite distant view upon death here. Its not a natural part of life. Its a constant threat.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 3:17 p.m.

It looked like a wing placed in what appeared to me as one of my moms sauces, but I knew it wasn't, even though her sauce was disgusting.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 3:03 p.m.

As a kid I once took a dead bird, placed it in a plastic bag, dug it down. After a few weeks, dug it up, just to see what it looked like.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 2:37 p.m.

You may think it sounds harsh but I think its much worse only seeing dead animals packaged and price tagged in the grocery store freezer.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 2:31 p.m.

I remember me and my friend poking the moose brain with sticks just to see how it all looked when it fell out on the ground.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 2:27 p.m.

Some days when I got home from school there was a big fat pig cut open in the garage, and blood all over the floor.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 2:27 p.m.

Where I come from dead animals was part of the daily life. I remember the hunting season how me and my friend played with a cut moose head.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 2:10 p.m.

@newzealand to be honest it wasn't agnetha who sold the VHS. It was a former miss Swedens little sister. And it was mom who went for it

@sweden June 16, 2012, 1:32 p.m.

@newzealand victor charlie charlie is dr Jeffs best friend?

@sweden June 16, 2012, 1:27 p.m.

@newzealand Yes it seems that way!I wonder if anyone in Australia knows Victor Charlie Charlie ?

@sweden June 16, 2012, 1:25 p.m.

@newzealand @germany or a farming language. You have to feed the pig before you kill it.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 1:21 p.m.

@newzealand you gave birth to these guys, this is one of my favorite vids on the whole internet

@sweden June 16, 2012, 1:06 p.m.

Peops who think I want to get rid of the beard-hair for all eternity, that is not the case. Usually its a delight to pull it out of the face

@sweden June 16, 2012, 1:01 p.m.

@newzealand I bought it so I could give it to a museum. Is it true New Zeeland is a paradise?

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:57 p.m.

@newzealand no, but Agnetha Fältskog once sold a VHS-player to me

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:57 p.m.

@newzealand "meat on the bone" means that you gained knowledge. But its not my field knowing such stuff about @germany

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:52 p.m.

@newzealand but at least they have a lot of experience now! "meat on the bone" as we say in Sweden @germany

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:42 p.m.

@Scionshade Im sorry if you're offended by the Tom Jones tweet

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:39 p.m.

I just shaved myself in the face because of an annoying beard-hair. It started out as fun but then I began to feel like Tom Jones.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:51 a.m.

@stroemberg stromberg my friend. I have asked it many times. On my ordinary account, on the blog, to co-workers. @mymlan @mikaelsjoberg

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:26 a.m.

Why do we call people with orange hair "redheads"? Its like calling the teeth a tongue. Just because their close doesn't make it right.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:20 a.m.

@feminineoctapus that we connect so hard to each other that our bodies stop existing and we live as one for eternity.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 11:14 a.m.

@elchuntytrucha no, but in some way, I'm glad to hear that. I can not understand why, it sounds really bad. This needs an analysis.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 10:57 a.m.

@CosmicSir does that mean his at the hospital?

@sweden June 16, 2012, 10:42 a.m.

One of my finest superhuman party tricks is to quaver like a diesel tractor

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:58 a.m.

@gulsonroad for a whole bunch of awesome people

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:52 a.m.

@rufusjonz a man that prefers he's penis to a dolphin must really know how to find da G-spot

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:44 a.m.

I recommend this blogpost for its translations of some of my tweetings, I adore the one about dolphins

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:22 a.m.

@MickjuSlevin a cunt is someone strong and reliable in Sweden.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:13 a.m.

@HertigHugo that is just a proof of how much I'm into this game.

@sweden June 16, 2012, 12:02 a.m.

@carlbildt I bet you just forgot to mention me, but I forgive you Carl

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:50 p.m.

@RurikBradbury your question is like asking if the head got a left side of the brain, or a right side

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:36 p.m.

@AnonyOdinn you are welcome , wanted and embraced!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:34 p.m.

@AnonyOdinn but hello! this is #visitsweden, YOU are the ones that must come over to ma plaze !

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:31 p.m.

This is so unbelievable sad for the industry of Sweden soccer team t-shirts. #euro2012

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:09 p.m.

If Tomas Brolin and Princess Madeleine had a baby it would totally be Alpine skier superstar Anja Pärson.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:08 p.m.

@MickjuSlevin I swear that lions mom is a chimpanzee

@sweden June 15, 2012, 10:22 p.m.

We are winning “@BarnabyWalters: There's an interesting call and answer going on between @sweden and @Malarkey:”

@sweden June 15, 2012, 10:19 p.m.

Oh shit.. Goal again. My neighbors is like a men choir made of retarded Spartanians.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 10:17 p.m.

@saffronsound but chocolate is not a swedish business, where did you get that?

@sweden June 15, 2012, 10:10 p.m.

I don't own a television, but I bet Sweden just scored. My neighbors screamed til their lungs was as small as a babies thumb #euro2012

@sweden June 15, 2012, 8:08 p.m.

I've got severe body issues. I don't think its ugly or anything. But it can't fly, can't shapeshift, can't shoot laser beems into space.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 7:47 p.m.

@lanehartwell sunday, no plans, no such offers

@sweden June 15, 2012, 7:46 p.m.

@justme277 cause he was in that movie, American Psycho

@sweden June 15, 2012, 7:42 p.m.

@justme277 That is not any of your business, but Ive have seen an American Psychos penis.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 7:40 p.m.

@dmoon it was the natural next step in the @visitsweden-campaign

@sweden June 15, 2012, 7:39 p.m.

@graygunter There is no good way, we are almost the same.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 7:30 p.m.

@fabriziobianchi oooh congrats! Theres an IKEA there and Ive got friends there! Its quite close to my hometown!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 7:12 p.m.

People.. of course I will not eat the uterus. You should know at this point I hated that dish. I have never eaten on McD btw! High five!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 6:48 p.m.

I don't want any more kids, Im thinking about ripping the uterus out and eat it. But if I had another baby, it would be with Lil Wayne.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 6:27 p.m.

@krisvandesande but we were all voting for that!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 6:13 p.m.

@fyratrapporupp you can? Is it that spot in the upper right?

@sweden June 15, 2012, 6:01 p.m.

In sweden f**** and *beep* is a lot worse than fuck and shit. I guess that doesn't make any sense to the americans.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 5:14 p.m.

@MightyMitzu he calls me sometimes and we have interesting conversations

@sweden June 15, 2012, 5:08 p.m.

@izzianity no its not the one with a stick, this man is very polite, often using the computers in mimers library

@sweden June 15, 2012, 5:02 p.m.

@jgreenwoodvr6 do you want to come visit to see it ?

@sweden June 15, 2012, 4:38 p.m.

When I look at our medeavel castle I think of the times when there was kings and queens in this country. Then I realize there still is.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 4:34 p.m.

@TonySpumoni no, but it smells crappy in he's hometown though.. He's from north sweden too

@sweden June 15, 2012, 4:30 p.m.

In my town, Kungälv, we have a beautiful mediaeval castle. Please ignore the beem of fire and death. He's from Russia.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 4:14 p.m.

It looks like Assanges most rabies infected followers are still angrily questioning why he's not the next curator of @sweden. It amuses me.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 4:04 p.m.

Outside the Kungälv authority center there is living a bench bum. My kids walked up to him and said "are you the one running this place?"

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:53 p.m.

"Mom, we built a castle!". Im so proud of them. They don't make any difference between a Royalty and a crack bum.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:45 p.m.

@PSiI_KO they let them become a Curator of @sweden

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:45 p.m.

I have a russian friend. He told me they don't do "fuck you" in Russia. But they have a equivalent gesture. My eyes almost burned.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:39 p.m.

The whole movies credibility was questioned. "If they didn't do Fuck you gestures 1912.. how can we trust the boat really hit that iceberg?"

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:38 p.m.

Do you remember when Jack Dawson did fuck you in the movie Titanic, and everyones like "did Fuck you-gestures really exist 1912?"

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:32 p.m.

@RedJules4 i don't know him personally but he likes to cut the sleeves off he's jeans jackets @mrgrumpystephen

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:30 p.m.

@jonronson the same thing goes with me and father Abraham

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:29 p.m.

@RedJules4 i rally adore ADCD, its so sad he had to drown in his own vomit , but Brian Johnson is asesome too @mrgrumpystephen

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:27 p.m.

@jonronson naah.. its probably Samantha Ronson if that is the case

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:25 p.m.

@jonronson i now realize Ive heard your name before!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:21 p.m.

@Cman71Chad @jonronson he totally ate my face this morning

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:03 p.m.

@jonronson I hope you didn't get offended! And I have got plenty of cool emails, explaining stuff.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:01 p.m.

@AndersArsenik if it works as it should, I said.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3 p.m.

@KashalTee @sturebergwall i posted the link where you can read a little bit about the situation.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:59 p.m.

@cheapbohemian im up to date, the swedish masturbator told me @johnpwalter ping @kwasbeb

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:58 p.m.

One of my sons main interest is to smell on spices. He loves curry and cinnamon, but one of his most unexpected honeys is salt.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:40 p.m.

When people commit crimes in sweden we are all like "omg! why! this person needs our care!!". If it works as it should…

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:27 p.m.

If you want to follow a tweeting convicted Swedish serial killer you can follow @StureBergwall. Heres a wiki:

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:20 p.m.

This is a picture of a swedish prison room and this is a swedish hotel room You see?

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:13 p.m.

@JaysWestHamFans do you know him? i totally got stuff on him

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:13 p.m.

@ConallHeussaff there you are, where is your friend?

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:05 p.m.

Swedish prisons are like hotels. You come to prison as a thug but comes out as P Diddy. Ehm..

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:02 p.m.

@MetaphorausRex if you want to, you can add @hejsonja . I will figure something out!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 1:54 p.m.

For the last time, I did NOT learn my english in prison. If I did, I would be much better of. Did you know we have tweeting prisoners?

@sweden June 15, 2012, 1:48 p.m.

In Sweden we are discussing where to banish our gender. We have not come up with an agreement yet. We don't want a new Sparta.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 1:31 p.m.

Just kidding my first words in english were "who, the, fuck, are, you, I, live, in, sweden, speak, swedish, please, finnish, and, leave"

@sweden June 15, 2012, 1:24 p.m.

I still remember the first words I had to memorize in english: who, are, you, live, in, sweden, speak, swedish, finnish, and, too"

@sweden June 15, 2012, 1:03 p.m.

@Lapsellisia I think Finland is a big inspiration for us Swedes when it comes to our "hen"

@sweden June 15, 2012, 1:01 p.m.

You can read more about how Sweden is trying to banish gender here

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:55 p.m.

When you use singular they, does that fit good in the mouth? Do you like "aw yeah this is a gender-neutral pronoun everyone totally gets!"?

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:51 p.m.

Ok folks, you can't use "it" on a person. People is writing heartbreaking books about how it is to be called "it". + its a horrifying clown

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:48 p.m.

English doesn't seem to have a gender-neutral pronoun. Or does it? The limit of he/she can be exhausting.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:35 p.m.

@TsarKastic you don't even have to bring a barbecue! You don't even have to bring meat!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:31 p.m.

@Sam_Prudence i don't usually photoshop myself into mordor, but when I do, I use GIMP!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:27 p.m.

My neighborhood almost rules and its fantastic when it comes to adventure! #Kingriver

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:19 a.m.

Have to go check on my kids. Yesterday they told me they took a shit on the lawn but they were just mindfucking me.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 11:09 a.m.

It just hit me. CNN called me a Justin Bieber-hater, but not even one of his fans have shown up to kick my ass. Zero. None. Nothing!

@sweden June 15, 2012, 3:10 a.m.

One day me and my kids had some quality time with scissors and glue and made this

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:35 a.m.

@nightingale801 i am right and you are wrong.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:18 a.m.

@beelew but didn't she say that in a Jonas Åkerlund-video? She said a lot of swedish things in that video

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:13 a.m.

Did you know the word pink means urine in swedish? And urine for you, is kiss for us. English kiss translates puss in swedish. Puss puss

@sweden June 15, 2012, 2:01 a.m.

I can't stop looking at this shit. Ive seen it like 15 times already. I should go to sleep but RED RED THE APPLE IS RED

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:33 a.m.

When people say they "love blondes" you feel like someones favorite dog. They love schnauzers and you happens to be a schnauzer. Yeey.

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:18 a.m.

@AustinL239 its must be because it didn't make it in sweden

@sweden June 15, 2012, 12:12 a.m.

@AustinL239 it feels like I'm missing out of something important here, but what is swedish fish?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11:42 p.m.

@TheBooiWonder Im sorry but I had to! It was genius beyond words! @tahelg @ofrivillig

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11:29 p.m.

Im loving how my feed almost became like a hit with Daft Punk #beardologic

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11:22 p.m.

I have a beard-hair on my cheek and Im trying to pull it away but can't grasp it. And I don't want to shave it. Im feelin powerless.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11 p.m.

@longboard1122 i don't think I need a religion, all I need is love! Love is all I need @fox_metro

@sweden June 14, 2012, 10:57 p.m.

@robocopkiller I don't drink alcohol, but maybe a non alcohol drink.. like.. a glass of water or something

@sweden June 14, 2012, 10:29 p.m.

@longboard1122 he answered me about lingonberries but doesn't seem to care about the answer.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 10:26 p.m.

@4stros No, I'm representing a swedish citizen (me)

@sweden June 14, 2012, 9:15 p.m.

@TomasNeme i wonder if the swiss will do this.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 8:23 p.m.

@Vanjanas congratulations and big birthday greetings from @sweden , your country, my country, OUR COUNTRY! <3

@sweden June 14, 2012, 8:22 p.m.

@JolBerO its not impossible, after all you are a guy.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 8:09 p.m.

@SteampunkMuppet I've got pretty small kids!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 8:06 p.m.

Ok now I get why some people wants Assange to be curator of @sweden. They want to trick him here, so he can be executed in the US. Nasty.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:56 p.m.

@chrissalera I played FIFA so much I had to stop , it took over my entire life @afharshman

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:52 p.m.

I always thought he was from france because of his name, Asanshhhh. At first I always said it like "Lasagna". Thought he was italian.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:48 p.m.

This thing some of you is doing, nominating Assange as curator of @sweden. Isn't he from France? Avoiding Sweden like its made of diarrhea?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:38 p.m.

@vonCarabas scrub led eggs with bread! I love it, its one of the best things in the world

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:31 p.m.

@mymlan @regionvbtn i remember when you had to tell me that too. I was a n00b.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:25 p.m.

@martinstweetbox yes I'm slarving. Good you mention it. I hope its a common thing so people understands anyway

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:11 p.m.

@JoeCilio somewhere they can play on their own and I can read a book without feeling lazy

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:11 p.m.

@radhikazam tell that to your parents! Say that this place is so magical they can't even imagine

@sweden June 14, 2012, 7:06 p.m.

@YouSoFancy i don't know what you're trying to say!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 6:47 p.m.

When he and he's sister is eating breakfast we have to build a wall made of serial boxes between them. He shall not se the youghurtmouth

@sweden June 14, 2012, 6:45 p.m.

My son is having a kind of a puking-problem. If he sees a "yoghurt mouth" I almost need to call an exorcist on he's behalf.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 6:35 p.m.

@theCurtisReport I always stay with my friends when I am in Stockholm, Ive got really cool friends. But I am not visiting often

@sweden June 14, 2012, 6:30 p.m.

If my kids fall and get hurt I sometimes scream like "DID YOU JUST SLIDE IN YOUR OWN PUKE", and they forget the pain and become happy.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 5:28 p.m.

@nicodisc its english to italian!!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 5:24 p.m.

@PhilipGrainger as i sat sadly by her side maybe. or fifteen feets. or stranger than kindness

@sweden June 14, 2012, 5:19 p.m.

The kids are watching Italian tutorials on youtube. Right now its "mixing colours". Its an obvious case of a bad dub. They are laughing.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 4:45 p.m.

@DeeJayBMT German technorap , danish electronica, britney, acdc, nick cave etc

@sweden June 14, 2012, 4:37 p.m.

@MK10Photography I am too!! Someone stole its brain!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 4:32 p.m.

@GeorgeHears but we don't call it female priest. we call it priest.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 4:14 p.m.

It may be true I am third grading the spelling, but I am third basing the grammar.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 3:10 p.m.

@Ollibompa its true but we try to prove it wrong all the time, risking our lifes

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:52 p.m.

@CarlyTalks is that a world for jews? I thought kosher was a word for trendy, classy and expensive things @rufusjonz

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:50 p.m.

@auroraandorra @duff_goldman I can't imagine how it must feel for those who thought their name is "System of THE DAWN"

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:49 p.m.

@thommytrash yes I have, @hejsonja , I don't know how to solve the english thing but I will if people want to

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:47 p.m.

In sweden we often win "honor" as first price in competitions. Sometimes its even our payment for a job. How is it in other countries?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:44 p.m.

@xHenryVladimirx yes I threw the kids father in a whole in my living room. He's trying to get my dog down there right now!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:42 p.m.

When I said my daunthers portrait of her brother was cute, I actually meant it looked like Peter Griffins inbreeded grandson.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:40 p.m.

@OurSecretOkay this is amazing, its him!! but adult and bald!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:39 p.m.

@xHenryVladimirx hahaha!! I love that image!! STOP PLANTING IDEAS INTO MY BRAIN

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:25 p.m.

@frankyn82 who's direction is the standard direction?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:12 p.m.

I love this drawing made by my daughter. This person is obviously going to the left.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:01 p.m.

@gerge42 haha in sweden they don't serve crackers, they serve smörgåsbord

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:53 p.m.

@HeatherHAL maybe you didn't share the trail with a baby brother? I have strong legs to! I don't even want a driver license!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:52 p.m.

@FizaIsa not in Sweden in general, but in Kungälv they are very supportive with your bicycling business

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:50 p.m.

@HeatherHAL ooooh it almost makes my cry when you say thatI hope my kids feel the same! Did she ever turn around to scream shut up?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:46 p.m.

@HeatherHAL how do you feel when you think back on those wagon trips?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:38 p.m.

My daughter made a portrait of her baby brother. So cute!!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:35 p.m.

@MylesPeterson I have no idea, I leave that to the ones that is a part of that circus.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:32 p.m.

Someone is using me as a reason not to hand over Assange. But its not like I would do anything to him. Maybe give him a cracker.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:30 p.m.

@vicberger is that the reason why there is so many jews in advertising? Thats what someone on twitter said anyway

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:29 p.m.

@SuperNerdMe things are rapid here and I am not BFF with english. But thank you for mentioning it!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:51 p.m.

@ceztko you can start training with your driving when you're 16 but you can't get the license til 18. Its VERY expensive. I can't afford it

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:50 p.m.

My kids went to a enviroment-aware daycare. All the other parents had cars. When they saw me on my bike they were embarrassed of themselves.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:39 p.m.

Ive got no driver license so I have to bicycle everywhere, all days of the year. Once I bicycled me and my kids through the perfect storm.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:38 p.m.

@felonia thats very interesting! Maybe it was from a former life. Maybe it was your uncle Roy?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:29 p.m.

If you ever wonder what i bicycle wagon is, always put this picture in your head

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:11 p.m.

My son starred in my face and said "LOOK! Can you see my zombie eyes! Can you see them!". I did. Or maybe it was a squirrel on coke.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11:46 a.m.

This concrete seal isn't protecting anything or anyone. And it got a huge amount of head missing.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11:43 a.m.

This is one of the concrete seals, protecting our neighborhood while giving me and my neighbors a hint of the ocean.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11:43 a.m.

@Livsnaturist thank you for mentioning. My son was just screaming at me he "was done"

@sweden June 14, 2012, 11:26 a.m.

@justconor i don't know!, But its possible!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 9:37 a.m.

Some of the concrete blocks are shaped as seals. As many as they could afford to shape as seals.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 9:25 a.m.

The autocorrect almost changed it into "shooters". gosh

@sweden June 14, 2012, 9:23 a.m.

One of the better things with my neighbourhood is the concrete blocks preventing fast driving scooters to kill the kids.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:18 a.m.

And I don't have much of a choice. Its the basement or outside in the nasty Swedish west coast weather made of Saurons breath.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 2:15 a.m.

But I still keep my stuff there. Whoever did this, never damage my stuff, even though I took all drugs once. Thats almost beautiful.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:51 a.m.

I used to think it was so strange I was the only one having any stuff in the bicycle-room. There is like 50 apartments here.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:44 a.m.

And I think this is some kind of joint made of porn? Isn't that a little bit over the top?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:37 a.m.

During the winter I didn't use my bicycle. But when spring came I went down there again. And this fell out.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1:18 a.m.

The policeman took the drugs, but he left the porn on a shelf in my hall. I guess he thought I wanted to keep the porn.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 1 a.m.

A policeman came to pick it up. I told him my son found it. "Did you find this?" he asked my son. My son just said "no", in a calm tone.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:59 a.m.

After a lot of thinking I called the police. The apartment was smelling so much the kids almost had nosebleeds and I am their role model.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:54 a.m.

I took the porn and marijuana out of he's innocent hands and asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He just said "no".

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:50 a.m.

My son was sitting in the wagon when I saw he was holding the porn. He's like "what is she doing?" in a very calm tone.

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:46 a.m.

At first I wasn't completely sure what it was. I mean… I had my suspicions.. but… It was just so… unexpected?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:43 a.m.

Once my 4-yearold found Marijuana and porn in my bicycle-wagon. I keep that wagon in our basement. That was a little odd wasn't it?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:25 a.m.

@kel_holbeck i don't understand, how can piss be fat?

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:16 a.m.

OMG. I always thought their name was System of a DAWN. You know. The morning-glory time. Its DOWN!? That doesn't even sound magical!!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:11 a.m.

@sanity_rules are you speaking on the behalf of your whole country? High five!!

@sweden June 14, 2012, 12:11 a.m.

Before I used to believe System of a Dawn were singing about aryals in the sky. Now I know its about antennas. Still doesn't make sense.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 11:40 p.m.

@torraptor its one of the most beautiful words i know "blygdläppar"

@sweden June 13, 2012, 10:26 p.m.

@Slaro89 sweden and norway is bbf, we love each other like crazy persons

@sweden June 13, 2012, 10:24 p.m.

No actually we are not that equal yet.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 10:19 p.m.

In english you say "balls" about someone who is brave. In sweden we say "labia". Example: "You surely showed some real heroic labia there"

@sweden June 13, 2012, 10:01 p.m.

@rufusjonz injecting sausage can't be healthy.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:55 p.m.

@TaosterOven yes Im using Gudrun Schyman, but only her voice, inside my head.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:54 p.m.

@HampusAl i don't know, they emailed me

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:54 p.m.

@Genevieve_Oslo i do the same, its very smart and well done.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:53 p.m.

@AlinawTsui oops, stockholms syndrome.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:53 p.m.

@AlinawTsui but chinese water torture is like russian roulette or swedish syndrome or something

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:49 p.m.

I hate awkward situations. Like when you have to say hi to everyone on a party. Its fucking social chinese water torture.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:35 p.m.

@micaiahvonW we preform that shit in massive amount of bonfires at "1st may party". "1a maj firande"

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:31 p.m.

@shmulyt I can barely see the funny hat! Why you have it so far back? Love your t-shirt. Do you think Pedro is a jew?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:29 p.m.

@Grasshopper_420 its @hejsonja . I don't know how to solve the swedish/english-thing, but I'm gonna solve it.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:29 p.m.

@micaiahvonW do you preform bonfires on Midsommarafton ?? What type of crazy cult are you?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:26 p.m.

@manlygirdle i don't know, but someone emailed me and asked me for a "web cam show". He was willing to pay for it.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:20 p.m.

@ben_turner i don't know what you are writing, but I send you my greetings!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:19 p.m.

@shmulyt Pic or it didn't happened!!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:16 p.m.

@shmulyt of course, we can't even tell if you're jewish unless you say you are, I hope you can excuse us.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:05 p.m.

@Tristant96 its impossible unless I ask

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:34 p.m.

@Cheybey its pretty stupid to assume all swedes are the same.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:33 p.m.

@bordsenius 9 months, is that symbolism? The symbolism of a pregnancy? Sounds neat

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:31 p.m.

@ledsenfarmor the misunderstanding was pretty fun tough, don't know exactly why @williamjelvin @nickemax @elisabethgehrke

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:30 p.m.

@katestrivens I don't know about that, but I think you will have a nice time here! If its nice weather!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:21 p.m.

@FridaLonnroos say hi to everyone in Finland! Say that its a personal greeting!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:17 p.m.

@JerseyTigerFan i don't now what you mean. That is not a statement.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:12 p.m.

@vivieneleigh i don't use cheese, i only have butter. I love butter.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:12 p.m.

@Mike_FTW just kidding. I don't own a television so I'm not looking.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:11 p.m.

@Mike_FTW what do you mean? Do we have teams that fights?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:08 p.m.

@JerseyTigerFan maybe a unicorn, i don't know the rules for this

@sweden June 13, 2012, 7:51 p.m.

This is a swedish carpenter , he's nickname is "mr Green", and that is like rain on your wedding day.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 6:16 p.m.

@TalkingTsar01 but that was exactly what I said about you.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 6:13 p.m.

The dinner was horrible. It felt like eating your way through a shaved vikings chest, while he's trying to kill you.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 5:46 p.m.

The uterus is done. And Im not talking about the dinner.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 5:34 p.m.

@ashleyudell you don't think afro americans are americans? I think thats kind of racist…. and very sad.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 5:10 p.m.

People keeps asking about my ordinary twitter account. Its @hejsonja. Thats because hej means hello.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:59 p.m.

@frank_mcdevitt i don't know, but I hope so!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:53 p.m.

@DumbCuteness i am 1/4 saami! or if its 1/8.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:34 p.m.

Today we are having some kind of uterus for dinner. Not sure what kind of uterus. I ordered it from the internet.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:26 p.m.

@rummario next year!…. next year

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:24 p.m.

@arvi_NDN no, english sounds "normal" to us, i think!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:12 p.m.

@therealjeffcox go to Liseberg, walk the forest, and the beaches in Skåne is awesome.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:12 p.m.

I know a stupid saying you got in America: "Blame it on the boogie". In Sweden we blame things on sunshine and moonlight.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4:06 p.m.

@SmilingNaked i have always wanted to do that!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 4 p.m.

@brwstrsMillions norway isn't our biggest issue. Its switzerland.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:58 p.m.

@internuts that would explain a lot

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:56 p.m.

I know this don't knowing-thing is getting SO old but: I don't know anything about Justin Bieber. Once I heard him scream "baby" thats all.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:54 p.m.

Where did CNN get the idea I hate Justin Bieber!? All I said was that in Sweden we are accepting people who likes him.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:49 p.m.

You sound like a bunch of pirates when you are correcting the previous tweet. ARRARRARR

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:34 p.m.

@Jason_Morrow yes, i know that one. Forrest Gump came up with that one aight? Love it.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:33 p.m.

@locke is it something important?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:33 p.m.

@Paul_Strum interesting. What dead animal do you have at the bread section in South Africa?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:32 p.m.

@therealjeffcox I hate IKEA. Beint there is torture

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:31 p.m.

@LNozowitz no, but sometimes I wish I had downs syndrome. Maybe some things would be easier then.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:31 p.m.

@Loba8844 there is no stupid questions son! Not much.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:28 p.m.

@bagehl I love deutch, its such a beautiful language!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:26 p.m.

@DoppelM i can't hate something I don't know anything about. Or maybe I can, but it would be really stupid.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:24 p.m.

In sweden we have a saying: There is no stupid questions, only stupid answers. Do you have that saying in your countries as well?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 3:20 p.m.

@DoppelM doesn't anti mean that you are anti something? Im confused.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 2:28 p.m.

@Erica_Jane_MP thats what ma grandma always said

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:43 p.m.

@holliie because I can, because its cool, because its the greatest party trick ever!?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:41 p.m.

If @StephenAtHome ever tweets for @sweden, he should come live with me for that entire week. Livin da Sonja Sweden Life.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:38 p.m.

@Jwoohoo i have told them its stupid.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:35 p.m.

@Jwoohoo i don't think so because she's a character, preformed by an actress.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:34 p.m.

Have you seen little Mermaid 3? Ariels mom is run over by a ship in that movie. Thats hilarious, cause the ocean is so big. #odds

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:29 p.m.

I hate Susan in Desperate housewife. I always wanted her to get run over by a truck. Or a plane. Even a boat had worked fine.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:27 p.m.

@hrishio I have already tweeted about the sun.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:25 p.m.

Zooey Deschanel in New girl is like the painful offspring of Susan in Desperate Housewifes and the mom in Gilmore Girls.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:22 p.m.

Maybe i go totally out of border now. But do you know what I can't stand? I can't stand Zooey Deschanel in New Girl.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:20 p.m.

I think Im talking on the behalf of all the Swedish citizen when I say that Happy Feet is probably the worst movie ever.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:14 p.m.

@Beruraluminous and there is no sweetheart over here, so who are you talking to?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:02 p.m.

@cyrilklec "my" Abraham came here with the finnish war, around 1808

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:01 p.m.

@rebeccasbrain oh i thought you wrote something else. Im released

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:58 p.m.

@cyrilklec he was born in the second part of the 17th century

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:58 p.m.

A lot of people is asking me what I mean with breastfolding. Heres the video. But its in Swedish

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:54 p.m.

I just watched the Colbert-thing. That guy is crazy, he threw a telephone over his shoulder like it wasn't worth a shit to him.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:51 p.m.

@AbeBird i don't know, but I know "my" Abraham was born in Moskow, Russia. @dansumners

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:49 p.m.

@ghostbutts i love that thing you say about my dead eyes, and yes, i love pizza and video games!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:48 p.m.

@mensrearocks what do you jews do when you have a question?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:41 p.m.

@hemphilldt the best weather is in the summer or in the winter. But the winter is only nice up north.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:34 p.m.

@InterWill but they can! Kids does it all the time!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:32 p.m.

@ErikPetersen Im happy for you, I'm sure you will have a happy time!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:32 p.m.

@francoisrib its a great trick on parties.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:29 p.m.

@NorrbottenBD that was actually pretty funny!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:28 p.m.

But I can highly recommend you to go to Liseberg. Colicbabies can turn even gold into shit. Here you can find more info

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:26 p.m.

They doesn't say anything about that risk on their homepage. They just say its "fun for all ages". Witch is just a bunch of bullshit.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:23 p.m.

You should really go to Liseberg. But not with a newborn colicbaby in summerseason. If you do, maybe you fucking kill yourself.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:17 p.m.

Here I am, breastfeeding my son and publicly offending an air hockey table at Liseberg, Gothenburg.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:15 p.m.

The secret behind my foldable breasts is pregnancy and breastfeeding. If I didn't have my kids, i wouldt be as awesome as I am today.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:12 p.m.

But I found my breastfolding Nemesis in one of my best friends. Yes I did. She puts her breasts in her own face as easy as she ties a bow.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:08 p.m.

@richfotorich nope, chuck testa. No seriously, im not.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:07 p.m.

A lot of females emailed me, struggling with their breastfolding. I told them to give it a few years. And maybe some breastfeeding.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:06 p.m.

I started a trend were swedes everywhere folded their breasts. Some swedes couldn't (maybe most of them). They went very sad.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:05 p.m.

Once I made a video of me, folding my breasts. It went very popular. But only because of the great ability. People got impressed. #sweden

@sweden June 13, 2012, 11:55 a.m.

@TimSanpo once I went lost in Helsinki, Finland. I was 8 years old. So yes.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 11:55 a.m.

@Vote_For_Nick_ on the internet or the paper one?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 11:48 a.m.

My mailbox is saying 666. Gosh. This can't be good.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 11:47 a.m.

I don't know who this Colbert person is, but I haven't got the courage to ask. I have a feeling I should know already.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 11:41 a.m.

@LarryFarber you can't tell if anyones swedish by doing that.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 10:47 a.m.

@LenaSderstrm but I didn't mean Sweden, i meant Latikberg, Lapland, where I grew up.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 10 a.m.

@Jwowsky but we are all blondes

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:30 a.m.

@UMamaMars I really want to understand stuff so i don't feel that way

@sweden June 13, 2012, 9:17 a.m.

I can't afford having homophobia. Maybe one or both of my kids are homosexuals. I mean, its possible. I wouldn't be surprised.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:32 a.m.

My daughter asked me if I can speak rapanese. That sounds like an asian subculture language. I said no.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:30 a.m.

@StephenAtHome lingonberry is a red berry in the moss. "Lingonberryweek" is the days you bleed like a woman.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 8:13 a.m.

@hellsattik how could i know it was this tense, if ididnt know it was this tense?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 7:46 a.m.

@PickettLance wats that, is it something important?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 7:43 a.m.

@That610Flow I have not ben there and you have no person tweeting for ya so i don't know

@sweden June 13, 2012, 7:41 a.m.

Good morning tweetnam! Why don't you say exactly what you think my opinions are, and I tell you true or false, while I go on with my tweetin

@sweden June 13, 2012, 2:05 a.m.

@nd_fredo don't answer if the phone rings, ok?

@sweden June 13, 2012, 2:01 a.m.

@peachclub why not, i have never used it anyway.

@sweden June 13, 2012, 2:01 a.m.

@ConallHeussaff maybe tomorrow guys, I've got some polygamy thoughts to deal with now @oldyellowdicks

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:58 a.m.

@OldYellowDicks telepathy shit surely is mind-blowing , I totally felt it too @conallheussaff

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:57 a.m.

PS. If you can't sleep and don't want to either, watch this. Its quite intense. DS. #kurtcobain

@sweden June 13, 2012, 1:19 a.m.

Can I call this day a "Nürnberg experience"? Probably not. Honestly - I didn't know. Nuff of this shit now. Good night!

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:30 a.m.

@rebkins I would definitely go there next time I have a question that is a shark with lazerbeems. If i know it in beforehand

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:20 a.m.

@RobertMiff thank you! I think its quite sassy

@sweden June 13, 2012, 12:10 a.m.

@traciNJ my question was my research. And thanks for answering.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11:48 p.m.

@CDRutledge i don't know Sthlm that well, but i would totally go se Vasa

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11:12 p.m.

@rita_hoikka theres something terje about you

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11 p.m.

@morphoer I'm talking about where I come from, my hometown.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:54 p.m.

@benjaminkatzeff i come from a village in Lapland called Latikberg.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 9:08 p.m.

@fundraisinisfun @CKsays if thats the case.... im biwinning...

@sweden June 12, 2012, 9 p.m.

This is what heppends when you leave the kids alone while youre asking a question with a J. Piñata party on extacy.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 7:49 p.m.

Ok, Im taking care of kids and cleaning right now. The mess on da social media aint nothing compared to the floor in da kids room.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 3:28 p.m.

The question seems to be sensitive and complicated. And a little bit…..… infected. So…. yes. See you later, I have stuff to do!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 3:26 p.m.

@FizaIsa what words were wrong?

@sweden June 12, 2012, 3:10 p.m.

@johanjortso I'm not even trying to be that. i don't get this. @orchidpussy @trotzigs @fredrikw @geekyswede

@sweden June 12, 2012, 3:04 p.m.

I thought it was a good idea to ask the question when so many well educated people all over the world can answer. But no. Bad idea.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 2:59 p.m.

Im sorry if some of you find the question offensive. Thats was not my purpose. I just don't get why some people hates jews so much.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 2:53 p.m.

Where I come from there is no jews. I guess its a religion. But why were the nazis talking about races? Was it a blood-thing (for them)?

@sweden June 12, 2012, 2:46 p.m.

Once I asked a co-worker what a jew is. He was "part jew", whatever that means. He's like "uuuuh… jews are.. uh.. well educated..?"

@sweden June 12, 2012, 2:43 p.m.

In nazi German they even had to sew stars on their sleeves. If they didn't, they could never now who was a jew and who was not a jew.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 2:41 p.m.

Whats the fuzz with jews. You can't even see if a person is a jew, unless you see their penises, and even if you do, you can't be sure!?

@sweden June 12, 2012, 2:37 p.m.

@katerussell You must have missed the point. Im not here to promote Sweden, Im here to tweet as myself.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:48 p.m.

Have to go. You can enjoy this video while I'm gone. I made it one day when I had a fever and nothin to do

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:42 p.m.

@oliverbbb yes you should come, and you should visit the coast in SKÅNE, or just lerk yourself up to the northern part!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:39 p.m.

@MalinVK i done like strawberry! and what i thought were milk was yellow!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:38 p.m.

@MalinVK I'm sorry, it was a easy mistake to make!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:28 p.m.

@nicefind_indi yes and they are very expensive :( i can only afford the photoshopped version

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:27 p.m.

@oliverbbb i am a part of sweden, thats all

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:26 p.m.

@jarek_pawel you're very welcome! but leave your strawberries behind :)

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:16 p.m.

@Kishakishi good to hear! And I must say that the winters are NOT dark in the northern part! Its white as snow glowing under the moon!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:15 p.m.

@oliverbbb no, they emailed me, i said yes, and thats about it. They gave me some advice and told me to be myself.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:11 p.m.

@majeed20 @malinvk thats how they do it, strawberrie-eaters

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:11 p.m.

@Cunobaros yes we had strawberries too when I grew up. overrated

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:11 p.m.

@oliverbbb they asked me and I said yes, why not. I know other people who did.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:10 p.m.

Oh strawberries… dripping with milk an urine. So tasty… “@MalinVK: @sweden mmmm.. Lunch efterrätt!”

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:09 p.m.

@KinkShaman its very sad that he had aids.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:07 p.m.

@oliverbbb guten tag mein fürer! What kind of questions?

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:06 p.m.

@emmackat yes we have! we have indeed

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:04 p.m.

Last but not least, as we say in Sweden: A danish lamp

@sweden June 12, 2012, noon

Everytime I tell people I don't like strawberries, they look at me like its a serialkiller on the run.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11:57 a.m.

This picture makes most swedish people drooling like dogs with rabies. But not me, I don't like strawberries.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11:55 a.m.

This picture is kind of a local scandinavian joke. (actually the photographer is Norweigan)

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11:52 a.m.

I found some pics I've shopped on da computer. This pic I call "hungry gay with aids".

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11:17 a.m.

@LitenTiger she's such a rokoko chick!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 11:04 a.m.

@ettpunktnoll it works if you're an unemployed bum too

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:56 a.m.

I remember my first tweet ever. It was in english. I wrote: Today I watched Little Mermaid. Again.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:56 a.m.

@Jenny_Ostrom @isobelsverkstad thanks for the support :)) *tweetin in english*

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:54 a.m.

Watch this: she says to husband: Look, a bear! RUN FFS ARE YOU STUPID IN DA BRAIN YOU OLD MADAFACKIN MAN OMG RUN FFS!!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:54 a.m.

@SenFowler no its not! I have never heard of it before!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:46 a.m.

@jmcouceiro but you live in Skellefteå!?

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:45 a.m.

@DenisMcEvoy Loreen was AWESOME wasn't she?

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:45 a.m.

@dreadnallen hahaha!!! "ÄRU DUM I HUVE"

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:27 a.m.

In Sweden we are very proud of our nature and beautiful wild life, and we want to honor it in every way we can

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:22 a.m.

@DenisMcEvoy ireland is one of the few countries i want to visit @ireland

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:21 a.m.

Everytime we see a dead reindeer here in Sweden, we get the urge to eat a lot of bread. Its just the way it is.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:19 a.m.

This swedish bread section is fresh, thinking new. They got a dead bear instead

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:17 a.m.

In Sweden its very common to have dead reindeers next to the bread in the grocery store.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:11 a.m.

@thelittlepakeha "all the people were waiting for me to speak… i could feel the pleasure"

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:09 a.m.

When I went to school as a child I had four classmates. The whole school, six classes, had like… 40 students. #villagepeople

@sweden June 12, 2012, 10:03 a.m.

I keep confusing PRESSURE with PLEASURE. Luckely they are used in such similar situations. Even this song makes sense

@sweden June 12, 2012, 9:38 a.m.

This is the homepage of the village I come from:

@sweden June 12, 2012, 9:06 a.m.

I bet your moms have done the same with you, if she didn't get a c-section because your heads were too big to fit.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 9:05 a.m.

Sometimes I just look at my children and think about the time when they had my vagina round their neck.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 9 a.m.

This is a picture of me from last year. Grrororaoroaroaorrr

@sweden June 12, 2012, 8:41 a.m.

My son walks like hes on the catwalk AT ALL TIMES. And he doesent even wear nice clothes.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 8:38 a.m.

When me & my daughter went to her school we met a man who walked very strange. She: hes walking like... My brother!! And damn she was right.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 8:32 a.m.

My daughter wrote "rik" on her brothers neck. That means "rich". Dunno why she did, but I can smell the sarcasm.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 8:16 a.m.

If someone likes Justin Bieber in Sweden, we dont care. We let them. We dont call him "gay" if we mean "he sucks". We say "he sucks".

@sweden June 12, 2012, 7:21 a.m.

Look at this awesome picture of me and a dog!

@sweden June 12, 2012, 7:06 a.m.

Sweet morning glory! My son is a whiny son of a bitch.

@sweden June 12, 2012, 12:36 a.m.

@ejrevi they asked me and I said yes :)

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:26 p.m.

@ChloeclawNorman yes it is. There is other stuff in there, compared to other parts.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:24 p.m.

@ChloeclawNorman thats were the animal clean their blood

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:18 p.m.

@grainreader why would i talk about the Russian leader in the same sentence as I'm talking about dead animals? Or wait.. hm…

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:47 p.m.

@BanzaiAdventure and the tennis balls are wet? I like you guys! You got class!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:23 p.m.

@JohnBelitsky the "related" videos… eeew yaki yaki bläääää

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:06 p.m.

Every time my neighbors screams like Michael Jackson on tour I know it has something to do with #euro2012

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:05 p.m.

@patze27 I know @orchidpussy ! We have watched ancient aliens together

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:02 p.m.

@joosttadema i don't, but I've got a twitch feedie

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:59 p.m.

Zlatans last name is Ibrahimovic. My last name is… Abrahamovic. Almost. OK my last name is Abrahamsson. But still. #euro2012

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:59 p.m.

It was made of pig liver. I don't know what to say. At least its not 100% pig liver. Its like… 2% pig liver, the rest is something else.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:57 p.m.

@ToveSk i don't know! i think you can still buy them?

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:51 p.m.

I go to the kitchen and read on the liver pâté-label right now. What animal suffered massive deaths to give me this industrial liver pâté?

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:45 p.m.

If liver pâté is made of duck, pig or chicken liver… I have to go and make some sweet pukin

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:42 p.m.

Liver pâté is really tasty!! Too bad its made of liver from like… a cow or something. Thats disgusting.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:37 p.m.

Before WW2 Hitler was one of the most beautiful names in the whole wide world. I know. Its as chocking as dolphin rapists.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:33 p.m.

@RobbevanLier are they ? thats embarrassing

@sweden June 11, 2012, 9:07 p.m.

@josecarlosliria do you know any people here?

@sweden June 11, 2012, 8:54 p.m.

@Eruannster i don't know what you mean, but in sweden we can watch tv on das computer

@sweden June 11, 2012, 8:52 p.m.

Everybody keeps asking me about #euro2012. Im sorry but I find more pleasure smelling my own armpits. But I hope sweden wins! GO SWEDEN!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 8:47 p.m.

@samuel_wade in Sweden its not called Titanic, its called REDERIET.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 8:40 p.m.

Did I just compare my children to roses!? Omg. Roses smells like an old ladys bathroom!! My kids are more like… I don't know. Horses?

@sweden June 11, 2012, 8:33 p.m.

My kids are sleeping now. I can't believe they were kicking each others ass earlier. They are so… sweet and quiet. Like… roses or something

@sweden June 11, 2012, 7:07 p.m.

No seriously, television is annoying. If I want to watch something badly, I can use the internet.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 7:04 p.m.

We don't have a television btw, television is the devil.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 7:04 p.m.

Its the first time my kids sees a printer. They're like "LISTEN!! Its music!! But look! Theres paper! WITH TEXT OMGOMGOMG"

@sweden June 11, 2012, 6:26 p.m.

Sometimes I got a feeling that a celeb is doing something. For example Adam Sandler just bought a carpet. Can I make something out of this?

@sweden June 11, 2012, 6:08 p.m.

This plant looks exactly like that avatar guy

@sweden June 11, 2012, 5:26 p.m.

@InessaNova @TweetweekUSA i answered from the other account

@sweden June 11, 2012, 5:25 p.m.

Dinner with ma kids. Gonna give them all my focus for a couple of hours. Earlier they were naked, throwing wet tennisballs at each other.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 4:25 p.m.

Did you know that our Royal Family is one of the biggest Albino Families on earth? (swedish article)

@sweden June 11, 2012, 4:17 p.m.

@lisaschamess hehe, well, thank you! And I hope you become Norway one day. I love Norway.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 4:05 p.m.

@MalinVK maybe i take them to Isengaard!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 4:05 p.m.

@cksch i think you are doing really well! I understand exactly what you are saying! Impressing!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 4:04 p.m.

@philanthropizt if you are a grammar- and spelling nazi that is definitely the best thing to do. @penny_ha

@sweden June 11, 2012, 4 p.m.

@ianhecht its four o'clock in the afternoon right now!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:56 p.m.

@cksch sie sprachen schwedish? i must say i failed german class

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:40 p.m.

My daughter is six years old. She likes reading, writing, playing games and showing hobbits the way to Mordor.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:34 p.m.

@FizaIsa @penny_ha i don't see a lot of complaining . maybe you read things with pessimistic eyes

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:25 p.m.

@cksch i read deutch in school! ich heisse Sonja! Ich wohne in Schweden @nytimes

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:17 p.m.

@Kwasweb neeej, no, it just appears that they MAY HAVE ben interviewing you. Without you noticing

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:16 p.m.

Once I had a strong feeling that Swedens royal princess Madeleine had an abortion. I was all like "oh boy now the fetus is gone".

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:08 p.m.

When my mom was as old as I am, she had FOUR kids. I dont know if her pelvis were made of steel, or made of broken rubbers.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 3:03 p.m.

@MattieSteals yes, and in sweden we would set you free in the beautiful forest, because we love your kind so much. @ray_harmon

@sweden June 11, 2012, 2:54 p.m.

@MattieSteals @ray_harmon in swedish measurements I'm considered to be a really ugly bitch.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 2:52 p.m.

This @sweden-thing is not an experiment. We have done this for SEVEN MONTHS! We know exactly what we are doing!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 2:50 p.m.

@KSchulten nooooooo, Im a 27 yo adult woman.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 2:50 p.m.

"WOOOOAH, LOOK AT THIS BIG LUMP IN MY DIARRHEA!!". Life with small kids. You can tell them anything.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:48 p.m.

I have never watched SEVEN either to be honest with you. I turned it off. It was horrible.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:47 p.m.

If you mixed Snowwhite with Seven, maybe Snowwhite would have fucked one dwarf a day with a knife dildo. I wouldn't watch that movie though

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:44 p.m.

Now I have to go fetch my daughter at her school. I haven't seen my kids for SEVEN days. Thats like.. a movie with Brad Pitt or something

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:38 p.m.

@JohnBelitsky yes, but i love my four year olds preformances. I like... Cry of happiness when i see them do stuff

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:26 p.m.

My name is Sonja, that means ”wise person”. I am born in the sign of Aquarius. That means "genius". So. Im a wise ass genius motherfucker.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:25 p.m.

@dstergiou but I love them and I am one of them!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:24 p.m.

@JohnBelitsky they are cute but boring. I love them when they grown up!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:23 p.m.

@cjhannas except Nicklas Backström, who's my favorite man in the universe, the best thing is that even the poorest don't starve.. so much

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:19 p.m.

@AleksisArnold haha i thought it was good until you said "lets hope its just a mean rumor" @vassaste_kniven

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:17 p.m.

@JohnBelitsky I don't hate feminism. Im a hardcore feminist

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:17 p.m.

@AleksisArnold but I'm not getting the message. You mean that you heard I suck or something? @vassaste_kniven

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:16 p.m.

@tristamsparks thank you ! I'm glad you're followin

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:15 p.m.

@jackpickering74 i would kill myself if i didn't have a bra. my breast jumps around everywhere

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:15 p.m.

@mreuroguy im not a cookie im a cracker.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:13 p.m.

If bras was a symbol for woman constraining themselves to please men… in todays view, thats one far-fetched symbol.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:06 p.m.

I love my bras. If I would burn anything for my freedom, I would burn jeans. I fucking hate jeans.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 1:04 p.m.

I dont get that feminist thing about burning the bra. Or maybe its just swedish woman who did that in the 70's?

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:56 p.m.

In sweden KREATUR means domestic animal. So when you say ”beautiful creature” im thinking about meatloaf. Both the singer and the food.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:55 p.m.

@mydogcrystal soon! it takes a little time

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:43 p.m.

@inpoco yes, maybe it was a message from Africa.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:41 p.m.

@FriederikeHell haha no, my eye got the fly, the tree got my face!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:31 p.m.

@JosephMeegar haha, i meant being called a racist, but i think they both apply @inpoco

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:24 p.m.

@JohnBelitsky No it isn't. We didn't travel but we had food and clothes and school, a nice home and medical care and so on.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:21 p.m.

@NFSSmith of course! if it only could speak i would have known

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:19 p.m.

@TheEmpressive happy to hear that! In sweden we hear A LOT of the starving people. ALL THE TIME

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:18 p.m.

@TindraEnglund but sometimes i want to puke!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:17 p.m.

@slac its spelled @hejsonja, and thank you!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:17 p.m.

@JohnBelitsky i didn't travel when i was young, my parents were poor! @apurva_p

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:10 p.m.

When I bicykled to the store a fly hit me in the eye and a tree slapped my face like a bitch. Maybe it was God.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:07 p.m.

@apurva_p its so much to think about! To remember! To know! To see! It makes me crazy

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:06 p.m.

@miguelsaddress haha… I read Spanish in school by the way. I failed that class. Por favor

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:04 p.m.

@emmajeans i would if i could teleport myself !

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:04 p.m.

@JohnBelitsky No Im not curious, and I don't like cities either. I want landscapes, quietness and shadows :)

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:03 p.m.

@miguelsaddress how do you manage? Why are you liven in Spain?

@sweden June 11, 2012, 12:02 p.m.

@chrisbolton yes I think so to! you have a royal family too

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:54 a.m.

I have never ben south of Sweden. I don't like traveling. I don't don't like that stinky hot sun everyone seems to adore.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:48 a.m.

@SammiXoXo we believe that most of them are poor, and that a few of them is like your dad.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:46 a.m.

@JohnBelitsky no, its not sarcasm, i have never ben south of sweden. But i have visited Norway and Finland

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:39 a.m.

@JohnBelitsky I never travel, i love sweden that much!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:36 a.m.

@themattpipkin in sweden we think @america is a weird weird country. But yes, we would totally hang out!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:30 a.m.

@JoserraPR maybe not the health system

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:30 a.m.

@princeword thats one of my favorite movies! I would love to be Bill Murray for a day, if ya know what I mean!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:29 a.m.

@milligannick scrambles or else i throw the eggs in the garbage

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:06 a.m.

I seriously need to get some eggs before I starve like an African child. Even if its not possible. In Sweden we have great social security.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 11:03 a.m.

@hierath77 oh i have seen pictures of that. and your royal family. But not in the same frame. @garethlpowell

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:59 a.m.

Here it is if you want to read it: . They are blushing. I don't know why but they are blushing.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:56 a.m.

Thank you NY Times for publishing an article about former @sweden-person in the beginning of my week. Now the whole feed is about that kid…

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:53 a.m.

@craigdmiller scrambled. If anyone wants their eggs in any other way they are often not pure swedish .

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:47 a.m.

You can read more about me here ! *getting to know me* Now I have to buy some eggs. Im firkin hungry

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:44 a.m.

@Hexates yes :( thats the first time I ever heard about Kungälv

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:41 a.m.

@AndrewBCarfrae no, King river would be the proper translation. But good try!

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:37 a.m.

If you want KUNGÄLV pointed out on a map, I have done that for you:

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:36 a.m.

Im tweeting from KUNGÄLV! We are most famous for our crackers, a stone castle and a boy called John Hron, killed by young nazis.

@sweden June 11, 2012, 10:27 a.m.

HELLO WORLD!!! I'm your new swede for this week! Usually I call myself @hejsonja, because my name is Sonja. This will be fun