My real account on Twitter is @fotbollsdamp. I love football and everything that comes with it. First-class immigrant and proud Malmö FF supporter! This week I’ll be talking about what it’s like living in Malmö and being a football supporter in Sweden.
Fotbollsdampwas @sweden 2017-09-11 to 2017-09-18
My last tweet here: Take care people. Never let Russian/American nazi- troll get you down, they're pathetic. Love.
IM GOING OUT WITH A BANG!!!!
If we just blocked internet from USA and Russia, the world would be a safer place
"I WOULD NEVER TRAVEL TO RAPE-SWEDEN!!"- said every broke white male living at his parents home
99% of the worlds internet troll are from Russia and USA. Congrats
Oh a troll having opinions about a country they never visited, how unique! Please tell me more, how's your wife/sis… https://t.co/MWhkIhKihP
We've had some fun didn't we? Slayed some racists, mocked some trolls and showed that this account is not only "mellanmjölk" and boring
Good morning from wonderful Sweden! My last day here on this troll-magnet account. How have I done so far? https://t.co/tOrNw4TdXE
Ex- pro football player Kim Källström scored a SCREAMER against Örebro today. https://t.co/jmoLniVgOB
In Sweden, everyone is waiting for the famous 'Julmust'. It'a NOT the same as 'påskmust'. https://t.co/VcIkEl4egn
Cool mate. You should dream about a childhood where your parents were present and raised you instead of watching yo… https://t.co/mLhqehGKYm
Saturday you wonderful Saturday. What are you guys up to today? Alt-right people don't answer, hating and being generally stupid isn't cool
Why do male racist always have a picture of a woman? Maybe that's as close as a female companion they'll ever have?
I can tell by your spelling that you are a man with low IQ and that your parents hardly talk to you anymore https://t.co/7mNKhUf8bG
Oh please, come to Sweden, we would be so honored to have you and your crap opinions here, please, we beg you https://t.co/0NOY27BWcT
Now "fredagsmys" could be either chips and some worthless show on @TV4 or for some lucky ones, It's schitnzel- time in the bed
In Sweden this i called "Brist på annat", It's when you are offended by something irrelevant https://t.co/A501FQ5g5a
The negative thing about Fredagsfika is that you have to listen to everyones boring plans for the weekend. "OH THAT SOUNDS FUN!"
In Sweden there is usually something called "Fredagsfika", It's the day that the company or somebody at the company brings cake for everyone
Is that.... ginger and lemon? If so, does anyone know that you are a very special man? https://t.co/ohhiXZppC3
Spoiler, tomorrow is going to be just like yesterday, the world is still a crazy place with two babies on each cont… https://t.co/uAdM8GQOE5
I'm really great! Looking forward to have some serious conversations with normal, friendly and positive alt-right t… https://t.co/MamfvPzqS6
GOOOOOD MORGON as we say in Swedish! Friday, last working day if you have a "office job"! How is everyone doing this morning? Offended yet?
Arsenal are playing away at Emirates against Köln tonight!
Hi @norway , do you remember when you had a national footballer called Carew? He said that he was better than Zlatan. Hahahahahahahahahaaha
I'm so happy for the Swedish prince and princess for their succesful charity foundation, "Ge aldrig upp"- VLOGG https://t.co/iiruidF4DG
In Stockholm, they are so bored that they new ways of how to bake a semla each year and everyone is thrilled. It's called "Kioskmongo"
In Sweden, you are not allowed to do well in life or be rich. It's called being a "MODERATJÄVEL!!!"
He must have been disappointed when you arrived then.. christ mate, read a book, date a human, smile.. you need to… https://t.co/ypDjufxKRq
If your dad could afford a condom you wouldnt be here either...... but here we are! https://t.co/tuB2UA4oS0
No just morons. All supremacists are morons, regardless of their belief https://t.co/15oCZrg2LL
I might be a bit... crazy but if I had to defend this country or its citizens in war, well yeah, line me the fuck up.
I also want to send out a special thanks to sports culture. Football more specific. I was raised by supporters of many shapes n forms
I have done my military service, got my education, paying my taxes and giving back to the country but I will never, EVER, be "jante"
All jokes aside, Sweden is the best country in the world. I wasn't born here but was embraced like it when me and my family came here ->
In Sweden, you are not allowed to have too much done. It's called "Nädu, så kul ska vi inte ha det".
In Sweden, it is forbidden to sit next to another person on public transportation.
So, are we done for this morning now? What a start eh?!
Dude you're from Sundsvall, That's like the sales- section at Walmart after the christmas sale, Calm down https://t.co/YFh5V2qzOK
Well I'm not, I'm representing someone that lives in Sweden and I'm only rude towards coward troll. Easy. https://t.co/DfR4q97ma6
Buhu someone is not what I hoped for on the internet, my life sucks, i hate everyone. https://t.co/OuVmPpvKm3
The best thing about bullying troll on Twitter is that they are so dumb, and lucky for me, I'm the master at troll- slaying. STAND IN LINE!!
Just got email by the Swedish insitute.. I'll be gone by 8.10 y'all. Sorry for the short time here! Take care!
Alt-right ppl pinging me, Let me make one thing clear, I care more about my toiletpaper after I've wipped my ass than your opinion
Dude That's Lamotte.. Hahahahha its like getting your source from Kat Williams. Go back to bed mate https://t.co/I29eDiMhn5
YEAH THANKS FOR TELLING ME ON TWITTER MATE, IM STRAIGHT ON IT!!!!!!! *cape on* https://t.co/Qvp2bx9qdh
RT @Krabbish: @M_Muffington @sweden I wonder who's butthurt; the guy making a bad joke or the guy crying about "silencing of critics". 🤔
Being gay is not something bad mate... grow up, move out of your patents house and make friends. Or stand in front… https://t.co/MQa7u9skve
Funny how every account that I insult here on Twitter got a fake avatar..........................
Dude I joked about you deleting your account and you act like i was Kim Jong un Hahahahaha, eat your breakfast and… https://t.co/PlUFF1FAGx
Oh I'm so sorry mate, please Let me know how I could serve you better by deleting your account https://t.co/cTqG5BFZTV
I can promise you that the person you are interupting with your bad breath and bad hair has seen you and did NOT want to talk to you
Gooood morning everyone! When travelling to work in Sweden, don't make contact with ANYONE when they are listening to music, It's NOT ok.
Russian fans celebrating new years eve with the referee... bad idea. https://t.co/RjmZx6ajie
Did you know that the worlds best real estate agent is Swedish? His name is @FredrikEklundNY
Did you know that the worlds best and fastest livescore app is created by Swedes? If you like sports, check it out here @ForzaFootball
RT @Kelmeling: A hot question asked by the official Sweden account. The only way forward is to drop the monopoly to secure both control and…
Does your country have a state monopoly on gambling? Sweden does and It's getting questioned now. Keep or drop?
Hi @Apple , is it true that you can donate your kidney for a iPhone X? My friend Freddan said that
That's terrorism, not violence in general. You could also point out countries unwilling to help syrian refugees....… https://t.co/n1IUrOZNAh
He said Poland Hahahahahhahahaha poland got no dangerous areas at all Hahahahahah
No truth at all. Some areas are more dangerous than others but please name one country without thug- parts https://t.co/GGUHwgyr0E
Have you ever been to Sweden? Swedes please don't answer
iPhone X will cost more than 10.000SEK. That's like......... too much. BRING BACK NOKIA 3310
So Apple just announced...... nothing nice... their time is running out
I won't argue against you but that smile thou..... OKAY MOLLY YOUR'RE RIGHT https://t.co/tN3JmGdlDw
I'm not a mean guy, i just dont care about what people think about what I write.. quite easy..
FYI, this account has gained 1300 followers since yesterday. So.... straight up the dajmkryss
Come back on monday if you want to read about the new butterfly discovered in Sweden or how great oatmeal is for your rectum
I'm @fotbollsdamp and Twitter created the block/unfollow- function because of me so please, save your crying for church
Random people online commenting that they are blocking/unfollowing accounts on Twitter... Please.. PLEASE, Nobody cares. Really. NOBODY
My friend Freddan will be here any minute now. Guess what he is bringing as snacks? Fläsksvål. Extremly nasty
In Sweden we have more worthless comedians than politicians
Police in Sweden are looking for someone that forgot to pick up their beer in central Stockholm. Is that you? Ping… https://t.co/E9nWrl1GXR
This is how we do when having a bbq in Sweden. Neeoo is working at Shawarma King in Malmö https://t.co/j62srJW3Hq
I mean jeez, i dont care about your red car mate, its exactly the same car as yesterday... dementia much?
The worst thing about having kids is that you have to talk to other peoples annoying kids when picking up from daycare
In Sweden, adults wear jeans with holes.. That's how bored we are
One time that genius of a man came to my house with his face painted with MFF- colors. Problem? They were not playing that day
Going to watch Champions League with my mate Freddan today. He is always standing up with his hand on his chest when the anthem plays
Someone just did what everyone else wants to do when someone at a party starts playing Wonderwall on a guitar https://t.co/Avg1FIFlBi
Internet troll trying to judge another internet troll... MURICA!!!!! https://t.co/lDikhujDTh
When it comes to immigrant integration there is a clear statement: Sports and supporter culture does more than any political desicion. Ever.
Our HR- guy at work when talking about random stuff nobody cares about https://t.co/u6752vKc5M
This is just about it... Swedish voters are saying that our politicians suck. https://t.co/gm658zKP9J
There is a Harry Potter- musical coming up in Stockholm and our famous singer and AIK- supporter @poptonten will be playing Harry himself!
We call that kind of guy "Mellanmjölk". Someone that only goes with the flow and doesnt make too much noise https://t.co/2kFGEbidJi
As always, Swedish media is so focused on what Trump and Kim Dingaling does that they sometimes forget that our current government is shaky
Great question... some swede that could assist me with this question? https://t.co/kc1MAnZVXZ
Good morning everyone! We've got Champions League tonight so lets go! Did everyone have a nice sleep? Working to be nice here...
That's all for today folks! I know you love me like @IFKGoteborg loves taxfraud. See you guys tomorrow!
Love it when they ask famous supporters what they think about the game. Involving everyone! Jan Fares is a great guy https://t.co/24qZwHlX7t
Now the @IFKGoteborg supporters are chanting "WE MAY NOT BE BEST BUT WE'RE MARRIED TO OUR SIBLINGS SO THE JOKE'S ON YOU"
YEEEEEES!!!!!!!! @DIF_Fotboll JUST SCORED AGAIN!!! THIS TIME IT WAS SOMEONE THAT I DONT CARE ABOUT BUT HE SCORED AND THATS ALL FINE!!!!
KERIM THE KING MRABTI SCORES HIS SECOND GOAL OF THE GAME !!!!!!!! SO PROUD OF MY MAIN MAN
I dont know who you are but you look like Aaron Carter with a beard. We should be friends https://t.co/o50hx8kvxf
DIF got this game by the nutsack. IFK running around just like when Skatteverket (IRS) knocked on their door
IFK Göteborg supporters booing Engvall because he didn't want to marry his sister and left the team.. its a IFK- thing..
Isaksson is Swedens former national goalkeeper. The only one in our history playing without using his legs and when he did, it ended bad
Kerim Mrabti is one of Swedens best players. Always focused, always sharp and nice guy
Yeah Ryan, they are but the scarfs say "Not only mentally ill, we know when to chill" https://t.co/o6CvjGevej
You might recognize this man from movies such as "Jalla Jalla" and "Farsan". Major moviestar in Sweden https://t.co/NxPZBtEzQA
Live footage from Göteborg in Sweden where mentally diasabled people are demanding more help from the state https://t.co/pKKTrydRRQ
Here Gustav is talking about how hard it is to have one parent in Bristol and one in Stockholm https://t.co/iRz4jy03NG
For you followers from UK, we had Frimpong over in Allsvenskan for a couple of games in AFC Pisstuna, he flopped. Big time.
Worth to mention about the game today, Gustav Engvall is back in @DIF_Fotboll for the 5th time this year. We call this "Skillsmässobarn"
29min until kickoff!!!! Cmon draw Cmon!!!!!
How are people doing today? Are you ready for my live comments during IFK Taxfraud and GrinDIF? It will be MAGIC!
He also showed up at work with a too small and too short shirt last week. So much love
My friend Freddan bought shoes that were 2 sizes to large. Why? On sale. He is my everything
If anyones offended by my muslim- tweet, mute. It's a joke. As I said, people need to relax.. ping @INTERPOL_HQ , I made a religious joke!!
Jesus, now some break before our BIG event tonight! Live comments on the IFK - DIF game!!!! RT or hårfäste like Kennedy
RT @mpawlo: "Thanks" - I now have even *more* requests from recruiters wanting to connect to "know more about those quizzes" (and sell thei…
Just like you bio on Twitter... "Saving the world! END WORLD HUNGER!" Calm down dude https://t.co/njNepbruwE
FYI my mom's a muslim so please, no "BUUU YOU LOVE TRUMP"- rants. Cheers
In sweden we call muslims "icke fläskis" (No porkie)
My main account @Fotbollsdamp gets more banter than any other account and I couldnt care less
The world would be a much better place if everyone would just have some self distance. Take a joke, laugh, relax..
I would like to make a special shoutout to my friend @mpawlo for all of his puzzels on LinkedIn. "Can you solve this?". I never solved them
In sweden, most clubs are not fully aware of the power that social media got. They don't do enough banter.. wake up!!!
This is what I think about this article, according to Twitter. Pathetic. https://t.co/23rzrrYmNj
Finally, Champions League is back tomorrow! Some great games too!
Is that even a League? Like a small factory for players that couldnt take the big step to start with https://t.co/zF0lTIRopu
I think that your baby will be shitting baklänges is he/she drink that https://t.co/FYXX83Ur7s
I remember the first time I met @viktorado and he asked me if falafel was with cow or chicken- meat
Puh great question... i dont know, i only watch sports.. any team in mind? https://t.co/bnPaNURfoN
Viktor is a Djurgården supporter. That's a synonym for "special" in sweden https://t.co/2zBNq0yZWA
Cmon people, ask me questions and ill answer!
You have these two going at eachother and you're upset about my gif?! https://t.co/4qzUoV6Pn4
Many got offended by my tweet about russia invading us. Like that's what keeping them from doing it... "OH NOW THEY ASKED FOR IT, GOGOGO"
The guy has diabetes, I get it, but cmon mate, if you cant control your own mouth at 40+, then buy this https://t.co/M9zL4xLitR
We have so small and meaningless problems in Sweden so we make them larger just to feel important. Last week Peter Jidhe raged over candy
So, just had lunch and been to the bathroom to "tömma task och tarm". What did you guys have for lunch?
Fun way to communicate that you have No idea what you're talking about. Also called "Ålahue" in southern sweden https://t.co/HITFp8LHQv
In sweden we talk about bengaler, Wahlqvist- family, Jidhes diabetes and Mats Gren. So we are quite... dull
You people living abroad and have a interest in football, do you have any problem with "hooligans"?
People in sweden bashing football all have one thing in common, they were picked last at gympan
Swedens main problem with so called "hooligans" is that people that dont attend games still have a very strong opinion. I'm not a hooligan->
People didnt like my gif.
So.. what should we talk about this week except football? What does our international audience want to know about Swedish football?
Today we have a semi-big game in Allsvenskan, It's IFK Taxfraud vs DIF Derbykings! Don't miss it!
Cmon people, the guy did not die. I'm not that insane. Yet.